Discovering there is no chance of conceiving your own children – for whatever reason – is for most people an enormous blow. The realisation is likely to evoke a huge range of emotions. Among them may be a sense that it is just not fair! It is very likely that you feel you have all the qualities to make an excellent parent – it is our guess that the majority of people reading this leaflet would make fine parents, if given the chance!

Over the years many people have found adoption to be an alternative way to have a family. Many childless people consider it and often it will be a suggestion made to you by doctors, family or friends. Adoption has never been the same as having your own children. Neither has it ever automatically taken away the pain of childlessness, which can be felt in various ways at different stages of life. Nevertheless, in the past, adoption has offered huge fulfilment to many adoptive parents.

In short, we cannot supply the families most childless people are looking for.

Adoption is essentially a home finding service for children. Due to social changes, very few women now request adoption for their newborn babies. However, there are many children, of all ages, who come into care and who are unable to return to their birth families. Many of these need permanent substitute families.

Some have special needs, such as learning difficulties or medical problems.

Others need families who can meet specific cultural or religious requirements.

All have endured the distress of being moved and most have suffered the trauma of abuse (physical, sexual or emotional), neglect, rejection and/or numerous moves. From both experience and research, we are learning that these experiences, early in a child’s life, have an adverse impact so profound that loving parenting alone is unlikely to reverse the damage. Skilful ‘therapeutic’ parenting will be needed.

In order to promote their emotional health, most children need to keep some sort of limited contact (directly or indirectly) with certain members of their birth family.

Many children need to be placed in sibling groups of two, three or more.

In one important respect, your childlessness is a real advantage. It means that these vulnerable children we have to place would not have to compete with birth children.

Adoption involves risks in many respects and no one can promise outcomes. However, we know that children without permanent, secure families usually do very badly so we trust you will feel rewarded by the knowledge that you have given a child, who had a bad start in life, a real chance.

Hopefully, you will, alongside the heartaches, experience numerous other rewards as well. Many adopters do.