Adoption

The Post Box Scheme

Why have a post box scheme?

Many adoptive parents and birth relatives have expressed a wish for further information after an Adoption Order has been made.

Also, adopted children may benefit from post box contact with their birth relatives.

If you are an adopter:

Post box can give answers to your child’s questions based on more recent information
It can help with information that may not have been available at the time of the Adoption Order (e.g. a hereditary medical condition)
Post box can help to support the child through the journey of adoption

If you a birth relative:

Receiving post box can give you information about your child, their health and progress
It can help maintain links with your child
It gives the chance to inform the child about changes in your own life
Post box can help you prepare for the possibility of contact once your child becomes an adult

If you are an adopted child:

Post box can help you to understand more about your background
It can keep up links with important birth relatives
It will let you know about changes and major events in your birth family’s life
Indirect contact can help prepare you for the possibility of future direct contact when you become an adult

How does Post box work?

Post box allows for news to be sent at a planned time, which is agreed at the time of the Adoption Order.

This agreement is between the adopters, the birth family and the Adoption Agency. Post box is normally once a year. This is usually a letter and photograph, which the adopters send to the Adoption Team.

Birth relatives named in the agreement are then contacted to let them know that post has arrived. It is then left to the birth relatives to contact our office. If you decide to collect it from the office, you must bring identification with you.

Alternatively, Post box can be sent out to you by recorded delivery.

Can birth relatives send Post box?

Some agreements may include other named birth family members, who can contribute to the Post box. This can sometimes be a letter and in some cases the sending of birthday and Christmas cards.

Any Post box from birth relatives will need to be in an unsealed envelope, with the child’s birth name and date of birth written clearly on the front.

Writing to your child may not only help him or her, but also help you to deal with your own feelings. You may still feel angry or sad about your child’s adoption, but your letters may be very important to your child as they grow up to know that you are thinking of them and are glad to hear of their progress.

There may be times when you will find it hard to send news. But please remember your child may benefit a great deal from these letters between you and their adopters.

You may want to write:

About the news of the last year in your family
About major events (such as marriages, deaths, divorce, birth of brothers and sisters, illness or emigration)
News about people, places or even pets your child may have known before adoption
Information about your child’s roots and family background, including your culture and religious beliefs
About yourself, your relationships, interests, job and health
To reassure your child about things that may have worried them at the time of their adoption, e.g. your own situation or health
With any important medical information

All Post box is read by a Social Worker to ensure that the contents will not cause any distress to your child or the adopters.

Should this be the case, the letter will be returned to you. The Adoption Team staff are always happy to discuss with you, and offer guidance on how to phrase letters appropriately. It is advised that you sign your letter by either using your first name, or a phrase like ‘birth mummy’ or ‘tummy mummy’.

What should the adopters include?

The information you send will depend on who you are sending it to and their past relationship with your child and, perhaps, with yourselves.