STRESS BUSTER TOOLKIT

Maintaining a high level of self-esteem is often a great way to prevent us feeling stressed.  If you feel good about yourself, your confidence and ability to manage pressure is greater.   Our ability to think objectively and rationally is also greatly improved. Self-esteem needs to be part of our regime for looking after our general health and well being. Nurture your self-esteem to build your resilience to cope with pressure. The following tips can help you look after your self-esteem.

Constructive beliefs are qualities about you that are universal and timeless.  They are qualities that relate to you as a person rather than characteristics you have shown on certain occasions or situations.  Remind yourself of these beliefs to raise your self-esteem.

For example:

I am kind

I am caring

I am friendly

Another way to nurture and maintain your self-esteem is to complete a list of positive statements about yourself - a list with some examples of statements you could complete is included at the end of this section.  You could also consider some of your own positive qualities and attach them to your list.

Often when our self-esteem is low, we find it difficult to stand up for ourselves.  We may find it difficult to say how we feel about something or to respond to the criticisms that others may have of us.  When our self-esteem is low, we fear the repercussions of speaking out.

Asserting yourself maintains good levels of self-esteem, but how can we do this when our self-esteem is low?

A useful technique is to develop a response that demonstrates that you can acknowledge the views of others, whilst also expressing your own.  This is often referred to as ‘I’m ok…you’re ok’ because it takes an accepting, non-hostile approach to others whilst also asserting yourself.

For example:

“I understand that I upset you (you’re ok) but I was really just trying to help (I’m ok)”

“I can see that you thought I was interfering (you’re ok) but I felt I was just trying to help (I’m ok)”

“I am aware that you like to work independently (you’re ok) but I could see you were very busy and I thought I would offer some help (I’m ok)”

Our self-esteem often takes a battering when things don’t quite turn out the way we planned!  At such times, we often find ourselves saying,

“If I hadn’t been so stupid it wouldn’t be like this”

“If only I had done things differently”

These judgements about ourselves our made with hindsight and forget that we made our decisions based on what we knew at the time.  When faced with this situation, look at yourself in the mirror and explain why you made your decisions.  Often our reasons demonstrate that we acted with the best insight that we had available to us.  Tell yourself this,

“I could only do what I thought was best.  I could not predict the future.”

Finally remember this, that no matter how pressured your life is there always has to be time for you!  Time where you indulge your leisure pursuits or give yourself a treat.  Telling yourself that you haven’t got time will only increase the sense of pressure around you, and undermine your own sense of worth, which you need to maintain to cope.