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Frequently Asked Questions
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Frequently Asked QuestionsWe welcome interest from both childless families and those with children. Experience of parenting can be an advantage, but bear in mind that adoptive parenting is very different. Think about the ages of your existing children. What would be the impact on them of a demanding child who needs a lot of your time and love?
There is no upper age limit. The key question an adoption agency will ask is – can you provide a stable home for a child until adulthood and beyond? People of all ages can, and do, successfully adopt.
Being a bit overweight won’t stop you adopting a child. It’s only a problem if you are dangerously overweight and a medical advisor thinks this poses a threat to your long-term health, or would affect your ability to be a parent. If you are concerned about other medical conditions, do discuss them with the adoption team. We have access to a medical adviser who can also offer advice.
On medical advice, we will not place a child under the age of five with adopters who smoke.
There are very few people who can’t adopt – feel free to ask our adoption team. But anyone who has committed certain criminal offences, including crimes against children or violent offences, will not be able to adopt.
Most children requiring adoption are aged up to ten years. They come from a variety of backgrounds and cultures; most are white/British and a few children are from black, Asian or mixed heritage backgrounds.
Children may be placed for adoption as single children or they may need to be placed with their brothers or sisters. We make every effort to keep siblings together. Some children will have brothers and sisters who remain with the birth families or who are adopted elsewhere. We do not place many single babies for adoption.
Most children have been abused or neglected in their past. Other children may have physical or learning disabilities. The one thing all these children have in common is that their parents are unable to care for them and they need a new, permanent family to care for them as they grow up. We can give you details of these children for whom we are currently seeking an adoptive home.
Contact our adoption team – we have a duty social worker every day available to speak to you on the phone or in person, during normal office hours. They can answer your queries and give you any additional information.
There are several steps to go through after you have contacted us.
The first steps include preparation for you as an adoptive parent and assessment by the adoption team.
Remember, this process is a two-way partnership. It’s a chance for you to think everything through and for the agency to find out a lot more about you. During this period you can expect to:
The preparation and assessment process is lengthy. But this is for very good reasons. From the adoption agency’s point of view, adoption is for life and it is important that they make sure the adoptive parents they approve are the right ones.
But adoption is also a major decision for you. The assessment gives you an opportunity to take an honest look at what you want of adoption and what you can give. You need to be certain, at the end of it, that you want to make a lifetime commitment.
At the end of the assessment period, a report goes forward to the adoption panel – a group of social workers, other professionals and independent people. Based on their recommendation, the adoption agency will then decide whether or not to approve you as a prospective adoptive parent.
It is very important that you know as much as possible about the child’s past. The law says the adoption agency must give you all the information about the child. This includes details about his or her background, time in care, school history and any medical needs. This knowledge will help you to understand the child when they come to live with you, help the child understand the circumstances of their adoption and help you find the best way of supporting them in the future.
You are expected to meet the general living costs of a child you adopt, just like any parent. However, you may be able to receive some financial support for one off or ongoing payments that are means-tested and depend on the needs of the child. You may also be entitled to state benefits – speak to your adoption social worker or local benefits agency.
You will also receive child benefit.
It is ideal for you to continue to work in partnership with us, particularly in the first few years, so that the child gets the best possible start as part of your family. Adopting a child is a lifelong commitment, and our experience is that many adoptive families seek help or advice later on.
We offer a comprehensive post adoption support service - for example, regular group meetings for adoptive families, social events and training opportunities.
A child you adopt is entitled to the same range of social services and other support, based on their need, as any child. This could be, for example, special educational and medical services, as well as advice and counselling.
Sometimes the best form of support comes from other experienced adoptive parents. The most useful organisation to contact, or become a member of, is:
They charge a small annual subscription. In return you will receive a very informative quarterly magazine and access to personal advice from people who have adopted children themselves. You will also benefit, like all families, from the support of your family and friends. It is important that they feel that they can support you as you consider this significant step.
This link will take you to a list of other websites that offer helpful information and advice about adoption: Other Websites with information about Adoption.
The National Adoption Standards say the process, from the point your application is accepted, to being approved as a prospective adoptive parent, should take no more than eight months. All adoption agencies are working towards this goal.
Once you are approved, the process of matching you to a suitable child may take anything from 3-18 months. We aim to place within one to two years.
The National Adoption Register is also available to try to suggest possible links between adoptive parents and children waiting to be adopted. However, we find that we use the majority of our approved adoptive families for local children.
Your social worker and the child’s social worker will continue to visit you until the court grants a formal adoption order. The social workers are there to advise and assist through the adjustments, which inevitably occur when people begin to live together for the first time.
Some time after the child comes to live with you, the court will make an adoption order. An adoption order ends all legal ties the child has with the birth family. The child can take your surname and become a full member of your family.
Once an adoption order has been made, the birth parents have no legal rights over the child and cannot claim him or her back.
However, we do arrange for birth parents to have news of their child, and adoptive parents are asked to write to birth parents each year via the adoption team.
In many cases, birth parents are happy to do the same. We know that this exchange of information (“the post box”) is beneficial to all parties in the long run.
There may be some direct contact arrangements between some children and their birth relatives.
More and more children are benefiting from continuing to have direct contact with some members of their birth family. It will depend on the child, but this could be a birth parent, foster carer who has looked after them for a long time, brothers or sisters, grandparents or other relatives. If they have made strong attachments, it can help a child a great deal to keep these up. This is something we will discuss with you before a child comes to live with you.
Birth families are an important part of an adopted child’s life. It’s natural to be curious about your background. So we encourage adoptive parents to be positive about the role birth parents play in their child’s life.
Adoptive parents should keep the forename chosen by the birth parents whenever possible.
If a child is aged over six months, they will already recognise and respond to that name; names are a key part of one’s identity.
We also recommend keeping original names for young children, even under the six months because this:
You can choose an extra middle name and the children do receive your surname.
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